Dear Anonymous,
Injustice.
— Diego Armando
Dearest Mia,
You are:
[x] cute
[x] pretty
[] decent/okay
[x] beautiful
[x] sexy
[x] unf
If you stayed over, we’d:
[x] cuddle
[x] talk
[x] chill
[] make babies
[x] have sex
[x] make out
[It could be fun.] have a pillow fight
On a scale from 1-10, you are:
[] 1-2
[] 3-4
[] 5-6
[] 7-8
[x] 9-10
You should:
[We live together.] come on over
[You can cook better things than sandwiches.] make me a sandwich
[Dirty messages please.] text me
[Dirty voicemails please.] call me
[You already are.] be mine
[We talk a lot as it is, but more couldn’t hurt.] talk to me more often
I want:
[It’s on speed dial.] your number
[I do every day.] to kiss you
[I do every day.] to hug you
[I am, now and forever.] I want to be yours
[I do every day.] to make you smile
— Diego Armando
Dear Ema,
You are:
[x] cute
[x] pretty
[] decent/okay
[] beautiful
[] sexy
[] unf
If you stayed over, we’d:
[] cuddle
[x] talk
[x] chill
[] make babies
[] have sex
[] make out
[] have a pillow fight
On a scale from 1-10, you are:
[] 1-2
[] 3-4
[] 5-6
[x] 7-8
[] 9-10
You should:
[x] come on over
[] make me a sandwich
[x] text me
[] call me
[] be mine
[x] talk to me more often
I want:
[] your number
[] to kiss you
[] to hug you
[] I want to be yours
[x] to make you smile
— Diego Armando
Dear Anonymous,
No, that’s not quite my style. Besides, I don’t know how Mia would feel about me handcuffing her… Even if they were fuzzy.
— Diego Armando
Dear Anonymous,
There haven’t been many times that I personally have been hissed at by a kitten. When they did, though, this is what I did to make things right: first, I apologized. It didn’t matter what it was for. As long as they knew I was sorry, they were usually happy. If they weren’t, I proceeded to shower them in gifts and romantic gestures. Flowers delivered at work, cute notes waiting for them at their house, that kind of thing. Eventually, they’d call me, wanting more of that Armando taste they’d become addicted to. If all of that failed, though, I’d go on a date with another kitten and make sure the first one heard about it. She’d be back on her knees in a heartbeat, ready to serve the king of the pride.
— Diego Armando
